Monday, January 19, 2009

More Jokes and Quotes, via Jon ( posted on the CodeProject's soapbox & rants message board)

Jon, a member of the CodeProject, posted the following quotes from movers and shakers from the 2007 financial world. In most cases, the opposite turned out to be true:

Note: I did not check the accuracy of these quotes.

"More Jokes from Bigtime Capitalists"

AIG Comedy Hour

"We are confident in our marks and the reasonableness of our valuation methods. We have a high degree of certainty in what we have booked to date." -- CEO of AIG, Martin Sullivan, Dec. 5, 2007

Bear Sterns Two-Face Show
Matthew Tannin, Bear Stearns portfolio mgr.(later arrested by the FBI): "If we believe the report is ANYWHERE CLOSE to accurate, I think we should close the funds now.... If [the report] is correct, then the entire subprime market is toast." -- Internal memo to another portfolio manager, April 22, 2007.

"So from a structural point of view, from an asset point of view, from a surveillance point of view, we're very comfortable with exactly where we are." -- Tannin to investors on April 25, 2007 (three days later)

"Our liquidity and balance sheet are strong.... We don't see any pressure on our liquidity, let alone a liquidity crisis." -- CEO Alan Schwartz to CNBC on March 12, 2008 - One day before he asked the Feds for emergency funding.

Countrywide ain't on your side
An analyst report suggesting that Countrywide faced liquidity problems "was totally irresponsible and baseless." On the contrary, "every one of these [crises] you come out of stronger, better, and with less competition." -- CEO Angelo Mozilo to CNBC on Aug. 23, 2007 - sold to BoA 11 months later.

Fannie is another name for a--
"There are no current plans to go back to the market for capital because we have all of those other levers that are turned on, producing capital, putting us into an increasingly - into a comfortable position based on where we are in the market right now." -- CEO Daniel H. Mudd, Feb. 27, 2008

Lehman Bros need glasses
"We are on the right track to put these last two quarters behind us." -- CEO Richard Fuld on Sept. 10, 2008 (6 days until it implodes and goes belly up.) These days, he's answering questions for federal prosecutors in Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Newark.

Merrill Lynch " ...."
"I think proactive, aggressive risk management has put us in an exceptionally good position.... We have seen significant reductions in our exposure to lower-rated segments of the market." -- CFO Jeffrey N. Edwards, July 17, 2007.

Wamu puts the whammy on you
As the housing market has softened as expected, what I have really seen is a continued very good performance out of most parts of the portfolio." -- CEO Kerry K. Killinger on Jan. 17, 2007 (He's presently under investigation for fraud.).

Is everybody laughing?

(Thanks, Jon, for your insight!)

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